


Vanished.

by icmorenofts



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Death, Depression, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 02:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9798761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icmorenofts/pseuds/icmorenofts
Summary: He reached out to caress Viktor's cheek, and he leaned in, he loved that touch, loved how his boyfriend was always so responding and good to him, loved how they could cuddle for hours and be perfectly fine or have their feet pressed together and still be fine or have little pecks or long make out sessions and be great, and he couldn't afford to lose him, not like they lost Makkachin, he'd be fucked, really fucked, back to his never ending depression, back to the hole his life was- not just a tunnel.OrMakkachin dies then Viktor dies.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> I made makkachin die the way my dog died k, its sad
> 
> I also did research, and a friend of mine told me you can die from a gastritis
> 
> Remember english is my second soooo sorry if there are weird parts
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!

Yuuri was happy.

 

His life after he retired was truly unbelievable, he moved to St. Petersburg with Viktor and Makkachin, helped Viktor to coach and teach in general little kids how to skate, he really was happy about waking up every morning next to the man he loved, with a furball he also loved- the dog grew in him, almost never barked, was always excited to see them when they got home at night or took him out for a walk, even if they were slow and short walks because he was old enough already (he was fourteen) and got tired easily, he loved to cuddle Yuuri when the couple had fights- only Yuuri and Viktor was jealous because Makkachin knew him first, not Yuuri; the dog also kid of reminded the black haired man of his own poodle, he never told Viktor he named him after his idol, that was embarrasing, but he did tell him he acted like Vicchan, so lovely and so grateful and so cheerful and happy and energetic even when he couldn't he even bark anymore, they both were good guys. But they both loved him to death.

 

That's why they got worried because the past week all the dog did was sleep, he wouldn't even eat, took two steps and fell, was always shaking and trying to cuddle them both in search of warmth.

 

"Tell Yakov I won't go today, I'm at the vet"

 

Yuuri had told Viktor over the phone one morning at 8:00 am, his tone was worried but mostly tired, he pulled an all nighter so he could feed the dog a bit, he even made him soup so it was easier for him, and he always loved soup more then the buns Viktor hated to feed him, Viktor cuddled them both and fell asleep, so did Yuuri and so did Makkachin, but he woke up breathing way too loudly and kind of hiccuping and drooling and he looked bad, so bad and in pain and Yuuri wanted to speak dog so Makka could tell him what was going on, but he couldn't.

 

Viktor told him how old Makkachin was, he had him since he was fourteen and was now twenty eight, maybe it was fair enough he passed away, but not now.

 

_Not now._

 

The vet told Yuuri he could give him some medicine and buy him soft food and he'd be just fine, he wasn't going anywhere soon.

 

And he was right.

 

A week passed since they started taking turns to take extreme care of the dog, give him his medicine and cuddling him and taking him on super short walks so he could get fresh air and move his legs a bit more.

 

They were really happy.

 

-

 

A couple months passed, and Makkachin got sick again, but maybe this time was worse, he started losing and losing and losing weight even though he ate and took his medicine, in a week he was so thin already you could see his ribs sticking to his skin, the hair couldn't hide it, not anymore.

 

This time the both of them took him to the vet, Viktor had him in his arms and Yuuri drove. By the time they got there Viktor was covered in his drool and it stinked but he honestly didn't care because his best friend was dying.

 

He was dying already.

 

The vet examinated him, asked them what medicine did they give him, what food did they give him, how long ago he was like that.

 

"Two weeks, but he was just losing his appetite so we both fed him, but three days ago we saw his bones- they're showing so much, so much" and Viktor broke down, he started crying in a way that was painful to watch, even though he cried without moving a single muscle on his face, he looked devastated.

 

Yuuri knew that feeling.

 

"He looks like he hasn't eaten since he was born" Viktor finally said.

 

(And Yuuri felt like shit because he was sure he was going to hell for finding that amusing, like, they honestly gave him so much food it was surprising he wasn't morbidly obese)

 

Yuuri wanted to hug Viktor and telling him it was going to be okay, he wanted to console him and kiss him and wipe his tears away but Viktor got mad when people even touched him while he was crying, he wanted his dog- he wanted him licking his face and panting and rolling on his back so Viktor could rub his belly.

 

"I'll go check again if there's anything we can do."

 

The guy's voice interrupted both of his thoughts, his tone trying to calm the silver haired man down, his lips trying to curve in a smile, his hands trying to reach the other man. But a sigh won over it and he left.

 

So they waited.

 

And waited.

 

_And waited._

 

Viktor called Yakov when he calmed down and told him none of them could go today, explained everything and hung up, then he hugged Yuuri for what felt like three more hours since they got there, soft whispers of "it's going to be okay- calm down- breathe in, slowly, breathe out" were said against their ears, the both of them trying to comfort each other the best they could.

 

Then they saw the doctor, hands on his pockets, staring straight at Viktor's eyes, lips pressed so hard the corners were turning white. Viktor stood up quickly, and started talking in quick russian while he held Yuuri's hand, his thumb rubbing circles on his skin.

 

"It's up to you if you keep him alive and suffering, or give me the permission to put him to sleep"

 

-

 

Viktor was devastated.

 

Yuuri wasn't so happy anymore.

 

The lack of Makkachin's warmth left the whole apartment cold, so cold.

 

Two weeks passed already since that day, the first two days none of them got out of bed, Yuuri slept on the guest room, too miserable to imagine what Viktor was feeling like, the third day they slept together again, but Viktor wouldn't even eat or shower. The fifth day Yuuri went to the rink again, excusing Viktor and himself for not going. The eight day Viktor cried and cried and cried while Yuuri was helping him to take a bath, but didn't eat.

 

"I'm sorry"

 

Yuuri said on the thirtheenth day, while Viktor was eating lunch, he hadn't stepped out the apartment since that day, and just four days ago started putting food on his stomach again because Yuuri wouldn't shut up about it.

 

"What for?"

 

 _Because I'm the worst boyfriend ever,_ he thought.

 

He wasn't really there for him, going out at 10 am and coming back at 3 pm, stuffing him with food and not doing anything more than trying to calm his boyfriend down when he heard him crying himself to sleep, tried to talk to him about some other stuff and distract him, but it wasn't enough.

 

"Not being supportive enough. I know you need it but" his voice broke "I don't think I'm doing it fine" Viktor didn't say a word, he half smiled, his eyes showed all the contrary, and held Yuuri's hand across the table. Even in times like this he was the supportive one.

 

"You're always good enough for me"

 

 

 

Two weeks later, Viktor finally seemed to move forward, he went to the ice rink, took proper showers, started smiling heart shaped again, was loud and just went back to what he was like, despite the fact he had lost some weight, nothing too dramatic- but it was noticeable.

 

One specially tiring night while they were eating on their bed with their legs tangled sime pirozhki Yuri had brought them with a sorry look, Viktor realized what a sun the black haired man really was, always there, always loving him, always knowing what he really needed.

 

"Thanks for supporting me, Yuuri"

 

None of them would admit something was always lacking.

 

-

 

The next morning, Yuuri woke up first, took a shower and made waffles for breakfast, made two cups of coffee and sipped his slowyly while he waited for Viktor.

 

"You're shining"

 

When the silver haired man emerged from the room, there was a special aura around him, a smile across his lips, he went around with sweatpants, it was already summer, but the lack of a shirt wasn't something Yuuri was excited about.

 

It was worrying.

 

Viktor definitely lost weight.

 

"Want breakfast?"

 

He had to make sure.

 

"Sure, what is it?"

 

He couldn't have an eating disorder, not because of that- it was devastating, sure, Yuuri himself was overweight because of that, but not bad enough he needed treatment. And Viktor didn't look sickly thin, just thinner.

 

"Herb waffles with nuts" he answered with a smile, setting his coffee aside, he pressed his warm hands against Viktor's back and casually wrapped him in a hug. He really was in love.

 

"Such a healthy breakfast, I bet they're vegan"

 

A loud laugh left Yuuri's mouth, it was a good morning by far.

 

Their breakfast was gone over half an hour, their mugs still had cold coffee on them but they kept drinking it while standing on the kitchen and talking about the kids in their class, soon enough they agreed to go on a walk, some summer sun wasn't bad for either of them, neither was fresh air and junk food from downtown.

 

Even though Yuuri was reluctant about asking Viktor that- maybe he could trigger him because their walks were always with Makkachin, but Viktor agreed cheerfully, and the black haired man was really grateful for that. It just sounded great.

 

That was until Viktor collapsed while walking down the corridor.

 

-

 

"Does he eat well?"

 

"Yes"

 

"How often?"

 

 _Fuck_.

 

"Irregularly" Yuuri sighed.

 

As soon as Viktor fell to the floor, Yuuri just didn't know what else to do than rubbing an alcohol damped piece of cotton on his nostrils, but that didn't work- so he kind of panicked and with trembling hands called a fucking ambulance. The wait while they got there was so long and stressful for him, what if he really was so depressed about Makkachin he got sick? Why wouldn't he tell Yuuri he was that depressed? What the hell did just happen?

 

"I'm sorry"

 

Shit. No.

 

"He developed a chronic atrophic gastritis" Yuuri looked at him in confusion, he couldn't ever get medical terms- so the man continued "since his eating habits changed about two months ago and got so bad, his body started burning the fat that was left on him, and got rid of it, then the same happened to his muscles- have you seen he lost weight?"

 

Yuuri nodded painfully, he noticed, but he thought it was normal to drop some weight but never imagined it was this bad.

 

"And he got gastritis, that caused an inflammation on his stomach mucosa, which is what I told you he has now, chronic atrophic gastritis"

 

Yuuri let that sink in slowly, his russian wasn't that good per say.

 

"Is he going to be okay?"

 

He just had to know, a gastritis wasn't something people died of, he never heard of that, they both just had to be careful about it, watch what he had to eat and maybe take medicine. There's medicine for _everything_.

 

"We'll have to keep him here so we can watch over him, nothing bad."

 

And Yuuri found that was a comforting smile, but it wasn't enough.

 

Yuuri nodded, left the room and went to where Viktor had a white robe and an IV on his hand, but it was good to see him awake now, two hours went by while he passed out, two hours that were filled with what ifs on Yuuri's head.

 

"I'm a bad boyfriend"

 

He really was, he should have noticed sooner, or panicked sooner, or talked to him sooner or comforted him more or talk to him more or just be there, be there like Viktor was there for him, he could have been _better_.

 

He reached out to caress Viktor's cheek, and he leaned in, he loved that touch, loved how his boyfriend was always so responding and good to him, loved how they could cuddle for hours and be perfectly fine or have their feet pressed together and still be fine or have little pecks or long make out sessions and be great, and he couldn't afford to lose him, not like they lost Makkachin, he'd be fucked, really fucked, back to his never ending depression, back to the hole his life was- not just a tunnel.

 

"Please don't ever leave me" Yuuri said as his voice broke, his hand holding Viktor's so hard and tears finding their way out of his eyes.

 

He meant it, he couldn't lost Viktor, he couldn't.

 

_He couldn't._

 

"I won't, baby"

 

_You won't._

 

I can't lose you.

 

_I can't._

 

-

 

"Is this Yuuri Katsuki?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"I'm sorry-"

 

He stopped listening.

 

He left and he promised he wouldn't.

 

He was alone.

 

 _Again_.

**Author's Note:**

> Lol guys I know that end is so rushed like honeslty i just didn't want Yuuri to be depressed and suffer lmao
> 
> Um, in case you're wondering, Viktor died because of an internal bleeding, yes that happens hah
> 
> Comments and kudos are super appreciated♡♡♡


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